God Considers Smiting Bible Pirates

Smite on...

God Considers Smiting Bible Pirates

Vatican City - God did not rule out smiting as a final measure against those who share his most famous work, the Bible, on the Internet. This marks the first time a deity has spoken on IT-related questions since Steve Jobs was temporarily Enlightened when touching the One True iMac some years ago.

Authorized Version?
Citing misuse of His word, misquotation, and putting hardworking Bible printers out of work, God said he would now start hunting Bible pirating around the globe. 'I have to defend both my world-famous brand - the Bible and its distinctive likenesses - and the livelihood of those who create and distribute legal copies of it. Sure, they live not by bread alone, but website hits - someone else's website mind you - don't pay the bills for these folks.'
Since large portions of the Bible are many centuries old, many people believe the work to be in the public domain. Not so, said God. 'Look, most copyright laws are based on something like the author's lifetime plus, let's say, 15 years. News flash: I'm still here.'
' I am a jealous God,' He said, 'but I am by no means unreasonable. If the person will stop distributing My copyrighted materials, there will be no further consequences. Like I've said before: hate pirating, love the pirate.'